Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Press pause.

I’ve been going through the motions of writing a blog entry and then not posting it...

I just haven’t been able to convey in words what it is I am feeling.

The last couple of weeks have been really hard. We have been adjusting to our new lifestyle, but without an exact meal plan I am struggling to keep motivated. I have been going through the whole ‘woe is me’ ‘this isn’t fair’ etc etc.

I have been in Sydney on business for the past week and hubby has been on a fishing trip. It’s been a good to clear my mind and sort out my feelings.

In my previous blog, I talked about being in love with your partner and not letting your children consume you life/love. I wrote in this blog that I would rather have my husband than to have kids. I have been able to reflect upon this and work out what saying that REALLY means to me.

Children are a gift, a blessing from God, those who have them are extremely lucky. But if I am to get out the slump I am in, I really need to change my thought patterns.

I am married to my best friend and if I ever have children that will be a bonus, but I have to just be happy with what I have.

I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason...maybe one day I will be a mother, but it really shouldn’t be THIS hard, THIS stressful. So I am just going to go with the flow, I want to become a better wife and want to work on myself a bit more. Maybe then I might have a child, as maybe then i meant to have them, when I truly am ready!

What a turn of events. This last couple of months has been CRAZY!! When I look back on my first couple of blogs I WAS SO MAD!! Not at anyone in particular, just at the situation. But the situation was consuming me, haunting my every thought....who wants to live that way? Not me!

So here’s to crazy sex and not worrying what time of the month it is!

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