Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Needle point emotions

My arm hurts. 5 vile’s (sp?) of blood later and hopefully the next blood test I have will be to confirm pregnancy!

I am becoming quiet use to forking out money every time I enter the IVF clinic. I don’t even blink an eye when they ask for my card anymore.

Next week we have our accounts meeting, where they discuss all payments needed. Straight after we have our nurses appointment where we learn how to self inject and get to even practice... YAY :/ not looking forward to that. But hey, I guess that it is good I have a fat stomach, more skin for me to grab onto and jab into! GRAB AND JAB PEOPLE! Grab and jab!

I’m beginning to see the side effects of IVF now. As everything comes to a head, my emotions are at an all time high. I am thankful that there is a counselling service I can use, to talk to someone who knows exactly how I am feeling. I’ve been relatively calm when it comes to IVF (besides the needles). I’ve researched all I can. But to now come to terms that it may not work, has me quite teary. There is a 25 % success rate, which is the same success rate to those who conceive naturally, so you can’t ask for better odds. But your body goes through such an ordeal and to have to do that multiple times scares me.

Many of my friends can vouch for different parts of my personality. Some will say I am negative, positive, optimistic or a pessimist. But the one thing I have always been about this journey of pregnancy is a realist and that is what really scares me. It’s rare that people get pregnant on their first cycle, so I’ve told myself that. Should I be telling myself that it will work the first time? Should I be the optimist?? Because what happens if it fails, then I will become negative towards it all as I had my hopes built up? These are very trying times. And no-one who has children can understand- sorry but it’s the truth!

 I just have to stick to my gut instinct, who knows what kind of state I will be in after I’ve had all that medication!

I’ll let you know how the grab and jab appointment goes!

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