Monday, September 29, 2014

Roman numerals: VI month's

1/2 a year old. So much has come with this milestone- he is really coming into his own. Swimming lessons, talking and eating! 

Likes: eating, playing in his activity centre, being carried in the tula, being outside, bubbles, swimming lessons. 

Dislikes: not being able to see me, getting dressed!

Sleeping: still sleeping through the night 7-7. Napping throughout the day.

Milestones: he is saying dad- all day long! He has said mum twice! He has become very aware of me not being in the room and will burst into tears if he can't see me! Mummies boy, for sure!

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Roman numerals: V month's

5 months with this boy! Changing every day!

Likes: playing on the activity mat, playing in activity centre, touching the dogs, having a bath, being nude, sitting in the high chair, complex toys, songs being sung, and the tv.

Dislikes: being left alone in the room, taking away his toy rings or rusks!

Sleeping: we have perfection 7pm-7am. During the day he is also doing 3 big sleeps 7:30-9am. 10am-12pm. 1:30-3:00pm. 4:30-5:15pm. Roughly. I don't have him on a routine, he just worked this out himself. He can't stay awake for more than 1.5hrs, so I just work around that! 

Milestones: Food. He loves it. I was waiting until 6months, but he has showed so much interest I've started him early. Loves apple and weatbix. Still no rolling of either direction. He is making unusual noises now, he bites his bottom lip and try's to push noise out...haha looks like he is trying to poo!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Roman numerals: IV month's

My beautiful boy is growing quickly! He now weighs 6.1 kg and is 60.7cm in height. Still 15th percentile, but I like my little boy that way! I think this would be my favourite age so far. He is so alert and loves taking everything in!

Likes: playing on the activity mat, looking outside, pulling hair, having a bath, being nude, sitting in the high chair, complex toys, songs being sung, playing peekaboo and the tv.

Dislikes: being in the car when it's play time, sun in his eyes, wind in his face.

Sleeping: we went through the 4 month sleep regression. That was hard! He is still trying to work out how to sleep through the night again. He usually goes to bed at 9pm and wakes at 4:30/5:30am for a feed then back to sleep until 7:00/8:00am. During the day still 45 min sleeps with the occasional 1.5hr sleep. Trying to change this.

Milestones: reaching for toys, especially ones that make music. Pulling himself forward, loves to sit upright. Still no rolling of either direction. He is obsessed with his tongue, poking it out and licking his hands!


Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Roman numerals: III month's

3 months old- no longer a newborn! Had a little cry about those fleeting months! He isn't due to have his weight check until next month, but I'm guessing he is around the 5kg mark!

Likes: obsessed with looking at the tv, cries sometimes if I move him away from it 😳 still loves mirrors, having a shower or bath, being in the pram or car, laying on the floor.

Dislikes: sun in his eyes, waking up in the car and not being able to see anyone!

Sleeping: he has a new routine at night goes down around 9:00pm then wakes at 7:00am!! He is a champion. The days are still up in the air, sometimes 45min, sometimes 2 hrs.

Feeding: every 2hrs unless he is having a big sleep.

Milestones: still lots of smiles and laughing and talking. He has also started to thrust his hips which means he is never in the same spot I put him down in! He is in 3 zeros now with some 4 zeros still floating around! He is still in size 1/2 nappies though as he has such a little bum!

Some more pictures from the month that was.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Roman numerals: II month's

Seriously, can you get a cooler baby?

2 months old and such a delight!

He is now 54cm tall and weighs 4.5kg (9 pounds 9 ounces) which is actually how much my brother weighed at birth!! 

Likes: Nursery rhymes, looking at the tv and mirror, having a shower or bath, being in the pram or car, laying on the floor.

Dislikes: loud noises, sun in his eyes.

Sleeping: he has settled into a routine at night goes down around 9:30pm then wakes at 3:30am then 6:30am. So can't complain. The days are up in the air, sometimes 45min, sometimes 3 hrs.

Feeding: every 2.5hrs unless he is having a big sleep.

Milestones: so much smiling! Just loves to smile, and laugh and talk. Moved out of 5 zeros into 4 zeros, although his feet have grown massive over the last week, so have had to put him in 3 zeros when he is wearing full suits, which look swimming everywhere else.

Some more pictures from the month that was.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Roman numerals: I month

I am going to right a series of blog posts call "Roman numerals" and they will be monthly updates of where he is at.

So it's been 1 month with my beautiful boy, and what a blessing he is.

Hubby said to me yesterday "I never thought I would love him as much as I do. I would sell everything I owned for him, nothing matters but him anymore"... Pretty much sums up the love you have when you become a parent. 

He is constantly doted on by family, friends and strangers. He is one of the cutest babies I've seen and many people seem to agree! 

He is very content and loves to eat. Always with the eating! He weighed 2860 grams at birth and now weighs 3790grams, that is a 930gram weight gain! What a champ! He is still a shorty only growing 2.5cm in the last 4 weeks, but he doesn't have very tall parents.

He usually has 2 x 5hr sleeps, one during the day and one at night. The rest of the time it's three hourly feeds. 

I'm tired, but not exhausted. And to be honest I think the renos at my house are what is making me tired, not Roman.

It's funny, after my hellish pregnancy and labour I swore black and blue that it would be years until I considered going back for a second. But I keep thinking about those two frozen embryos waiting for me in the lab. I wonder if they will work, if they are girls or boys, or if I'll have to undergo the egg collection process all over again? Who knows! Right now I'm enjoying this precious guy, and shedding tears as I watch him grow so quickly! 

Monday, March 17, 2014

Roman's birth story

Sunday March 2nd- 

We were at my parents house for dinner. I didn't feel well and ate nothing, 9pm came and I decided it was time to head home.

I walked in the door and sat down on the couch, lots of niggeling, but nothing serious. I went to bed at 11pm and had notice regular mild contractions... Decided it was best to sleep, so I did. 

Monday March 3rd-

I was woken at 12:30 by the contractions and knew this was it. I laid in bed for another hour growing increasingly uncomfortable. I woke up hubby and told him I was in labor, he got up and put the bath on for me. It was 3am by the time I finally got in and I stayed there until 5 am. I was in so much pain I couldn't/didn't want get out of the water. I rang the hospital to tell them I was on my way. My midwife, Sharon, had a day off so I was to meet another midwife Helen at the birth centre. We arrived at 7am and my contractions had all but stopped. Hubby seemed annoyed. I was annoyed. Helen checked me, I was 3cm dilated and in early labour. She noticed me itching my hands and ordered a blood test to check if everything was ok and sent me home.

Once home I kept getting sporadic contractions. At 1pm Helen called back with my blood test. My liver wasn't functioning properly, she said if my contractions hadn't picked up again by 6am the next morning, then I was to come in and they would break my waters.

Finally, I knew I was going to have a baby soon.

I went about the rest of my day doing little bits and pieces. I went to bed at 11pm to mild regular contractions, but nothing to write home about. 

Tuesday March 4th-

I woke up at 5:30 to my alarm, no baby. So I called my midwife Sharon who said to meet us there at 8am.

We decided it would be better if I stayed in the birthing suite, rather than the birth centre as I could need more medical help and she would hate to have to move me whilst in hard labor.

At 9:30am it was time to break my waters, Sharon was having difficulty finding my cervix and it really hurt so she got a senior midwife with tiny hands to do it and I couldn't feel a thing!

Once my waters were broken they left me for an hour. Hubby, my mum and sister were there with me, so we went for a walk to the cafe and bought the paper. I was feeling pressure, but again not regular contractions.

At 11am they decided to hook me up to the drip with the induction medication. I also had to have a monitor on my belly. This meant I was bed ridden for the rest of my labour. Contractions were instant and intense. I had to grip the bed sheets through everyone. I laboured like this for 4 hours. It was 4 o'clock when Sharon checked to see how dilated I was...surely I had to be 6cm by now... Nope still 3cm!!! I was devastated. They said they would have to leave me for another 4 hours before they could check me again. No way could I continue on like this for 4 hours with the hope of maybe dilating some more. I was getting upset at this stage, sad that nothing was going the way I thought it would. The dreaded word "epidural" was being thrown around the room, my tears got louder!! The anethetist would be another hour, so they suggested I have a pethadine shot. I asked them to leave me for another 45 min to see how I would go. 30min later I was begging for something. They have me the gas, but I hated the motion, I like exhaling through my contractions not breathing in. With big tears the pethadine was administered.... After 5 mins it kicked it and I felt very spaced out. I couldn't concentrate on anything, or hold my body up. I had to lay down, the contractions were still intense but it was the time Inbetween that made me sleepy. After 30mins it wore off and the contractions were more intense than ever. Sharon, who is a "use Epidurals as a last measure" kind of midwife, insisted that I get an epidural. I cried. A lot. I was very scared, but in so much pain that I knew it was my only option. I had to move rooms to a single bed room. I sat hunched over, very very frightened. I was still spaced out and couldn't focus my eyes on much. I looked at my husband and for the first time that day saw fear on his face. The epidural frightened him, just as much as it did me. But you know what? It didn't even hurt. Not one single bit. As soon as I had the epidural they checked to see how dilated I was, I instantly went from 3cm to 7cm!!

It was 6:30pm by this stage and I had become a lot more relaxed. I could still feel each contraction, but they weren't painful. I became very tired... and kept falling asleep.  9:30pm and my midwife had to go home, it was past her shift times! Julie was now my midwife and she came to check how dilated I was... 9.5cm!! She said she was going to leave me for a bit to get that last half cm gone. She was gone for 1.5hours!!!! For half a centimetre!! I was growing very impatient! When she returned to check me again at 11pm I was 10cm, finally! Julie then proceeded to tell me that they like to wait for an hour whilst I'm 10cm!!!! No Julie, no more waiting, let's get this baby out! She agreed and said she would get her things and be right back! 25min later!!! Geez louise I was fed up! It was finally time to push. 11:30pm and I was ready. My husband and mother took it in turns to hold up my left leg whilst Julie held the right. With each contraction the baby's heart rate would drop causing Julie to get quite concerned. 

Wednesday March 5th.

I'd been pushing for 30min and we had reached midnight. 2 doctors were called as they kept threatening forceps or vacuum delivery! I knew everything was ok with my baby and I wasn't going to have a forcep delivery!! I could do this on my own. 

12:33am and Roman entered the world. I was exhausted and completely spaced out. The epidural not only numbs your back but your mind also! I didn't cry which really surprised me. Romans umbilical cord was pressed against his cheek which was causing the drop in his heart rate. He came out with a big pointing head. He had buried his head so low into my pelvis that he was stuck, if I didn't have the epidural my body would not have been able to relax enough to let him out and I would of ended up having an emergency caesarean! So I'm pro epidural now!

I cried quite a bit in hospital. I was grieving the loss of the labour I had hoped for. It was very difficult to accept that I wasn't fully present at the birth of my child, and took several days for me to overcome that guilt. 

In the end through, I got the miracle I had always dreamed of. I'll admit that I didn't instantly fall in love. I think being on such a huge journey as I have been on it was very surreal. This was my baby. I didn't need to hand him back. 2 weeks on, and I well and truly love this little boy! I love that I calm him the most out of anyone. That my milk is what fills his empty tummy. That my pats soothe him and my hugs completely envelope him! We are finally a family and feel complete at last :)

Monday, March 10, 2014


Roman Hugh Raffoul

Born 5th march 2014 at 12:33am

Weighing a tiny 6pound 5 ounces, or 2860grams 48.5 cm tall.

He is the most gorgeous baby I ever did see! 

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

38 weeks

A couple of days ago I started writing what I thought was my birth story. False alarm it would seem.

All the signs pointed in the right direction, my midwife said I was in labour but needed to go home for it to progress more. Then it all just died off. Talk about frustrating!

I'm 38 weeks pregnant now, if he hasn't arrived by 40 weeks my midwife will do a scrapping. If that doesn't get things going then I'll be induced at 41 weeks.

I'm in quite a lot of pain and severly dehydrated. I'm not eating enough either, but I'm finding it incredibly hard to up the amount of food intake. My stomach has gotten small and I only really eat one meal a day. I feel sick and vomit otherwise... But I'm trying to have smaller snacks throughout the day now. The baby is getting sleepy to conserve energy, which is bad for labour. So if you see me, shove a glass of water in my hand and a piece of toast! 

Other than that, not much to report. I've been busy washing clothes and cleaning window sills. Thinking about making a baby quilt in the coming days too, and maybe some cot sheets. 

Saturday, January 25, 2014

A letter to my son

Dearest baby boy,

I've toyed with the idea of writing you a letter whilst you still form in my womb, but the magintued of creating you has left me rather speechless.

You will soon arrive, and I am expecting you to be full of spirit. If your movements are anything to go by I just know you will keep me running!

I'm nervous my sweet boy. Worried if I will be a good enough mother to be able to raise you into a great man. The responsibility weighs heavy on my heart. I want to teach you about love and kindness. About how to be gentle but strong. How to find what drives you and encourage you to do what you love. How to be head strong but not arrogant. How to care for people without taking over. How to say that something is wrong and help you to fix it. Above all, how to get up when you fall down.

This world, my little man, is great and vast. Endless opportunities await you. I hope you hold my hand and take me with you.

My greatest hope is that you will love yourself and figure out who you are. To find comfort in all the unique things that make you, you! 

I can't wait to meet you and kiss those cheeks for the rest of my days! (Even when you're 16 and too embarrassed!)

All my love,


Ps your father is SO excited to meet you. He calls you "his boy" and tells me he is not nervous at all about becoming a dad. He talks about wanting to show you the world and providing the best life he can for you. You are so loved! 

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Riding the wave

32 weeks pregnant and experiencing the yearly heat wave that hits Melbourne.

I was coping the first two days, 38 degrees then 40 degrees, but today at 44 I reached my limit. 

Over the weekend we went camping with dear friends to 90 mile beach. Whilst sitting in the shade I thought I was invincible and wasn't wearing sunscreen, and got VERY badly burnt on my right knee. Second degree, huge 50 cent piece blisters, can't move my leg kind of burn. It felt like I had broken my ankle again and was very painful to walk! 

Back to today and this baby of mine has shifted positions and I can't get him to move. His feet wedge high in my ribs and bottom sticking out... I can barely breathe. Add the heat and my burn and you can find me sobbing under my over worked air conditioner.

I got some relief tonight by going in my parents pool, but I don't know if it's worth it sometimes as when I come out of the water my belly feels SO much heavier.

I find myself constantly writing status updates on Facebook only not to publish them as I know I'm complaining. I've become one of the women I got so mad at. "Be grateful that you're even pregnant" I would think when my friends would complain. But this shit is hard. So hard that my dreams of having 3 children are very highly likely to be shortened to 2. 

I've been having Braxton hicks in all kinds of forms. Most of the time they are one constant contraction that lasts 30-45min and feels like you.are.dying but last night I experienced them for 2 min every 10 min for an hour. A little insight into what will be early labour pains no doubt. And I was ok, I could handle what was going on, but didn't stop me stressing that I haven't packed a hosptial bag yet! Ha! Need to do that pronto!

My baby shower is in two weeks and I'm so excited! I've been dreaming of this day for many years and can't believe it's finally my turn to be celebrated for creating life! How special! 

Yes it's hard.
But it's worth it.
So worth it.

Can't wait to meet my son! Only 55 days until I'm due!! Eeek!