38 weeks

A couple of days ago I started writing what I thought was my birth story. False alarm it would seem.

All the signs pointed in the right direction, my midwife said I was in labour but needed to go home for it to progress more. Then it all just died off. Talk about frustrating!

I'm 38 weeks pregnant now, if he hasn't arrived by 40 weeks my midwife will do a scrapping. If that doesn't get things going then I'll be induced at 41 weeks.

I'm in quite a lot of pain and severly dehydrated. I'm not eating enough either, but I'm finding it incredibly hard to up the amount of food intake. My stomach has gotten small and I only really eat one meal a day. I feel sick and vomit otherwise... But I'm trying to have smaller snacks throughout the day now. The baby is getting sleepy to conserve energy, which is bad for labour. So if you see me, shove a glass of water in my hand and a piece of toast! 

Other than that, not much to report. I've been busy washing clothes and cleaning window sills. Thinking about making a baby quilt in the coming days too, and maybe some cot sheets. 

A letter to my son

Dearest baby boy,

I've toyed with the idea of writing you a letter whilst you still form in my womb, but the magintued of creating you has left me rather speechless.

You will soon arrive, and I am expecting you to be full of spirit. If your movements are anything to go by I just know you will keep me running!

I'm nervous my sweet boy. Worried if I will be a good enough mother to be able to raise you into a great man. The responsibility weighs heavy on my heart. I want to teach you about love and kindness. About how to be gentle but strong. How to find what drives you and encourage you to do what you love. How to be head strong but not arrogant. How to care for people without taking over. How to say that something is wrong and help you to fix it. Above all, how to get up when you fall down.

This world, my little man, is great and vast. Endless opportunities await you. I hope you hold my hand and take me with you.

My greatest hope is that you will love yourself and figure out who you are. To find comfort in all the unique things that make you, you! 

I can't wait to meet you and kiss those cheeks for the rest of my days! (Even when you're 16 and too embarrassed!)

All my love,

Mama! 

Ps your father is SO excited to meet you. He calls you "his boy" and tells me he is not nervous at all about becoming a dad. He talks about wanting to show you the world and providing the best life he can for you. You are so loved! 

Riding the wave

32 weeks pregnant and experiencing the yearly heat wave that hits Melbourne.

I was coping the first two days, 38 degrees then 40 degrees, but today at 44 I reached my limit. 

Over the weekend we went camping with dear friends to 90 mile beach. Whilst sitting in the shade I thought I was invincible and wasn't wearing sunscreen, and got VERY badly burnt on my right knee. Second degree, huge 50 cent piece blisters, can't move my leg kind of burn. It felt like I had broken my ankle again and was very painful to walk! 

Back to today and this baby of mine has shifted positions and I can't get him to move. His feet wedge high in my ribs and bottom sticking out... I can barely breathe. Add the heat and my burn and you can find me sobbing under my over worked air conditioner.

I got some relief tonight by going in my parents pool, but I don't know if it's worth it sometimes as when I come out of the water my belly feels SO much heavier.

I find myself constantly writing status updates on Facebook only not to publish them as I know I'm complaining. I've become one of the women I got so mad at. "Be grateful that you're even pregnant" I would think when my friends would complain. But this shit is hard. So hard that my dreams of having 3 children are very highly likely to be shortened to 2. 

I've been having Braxton hicks in all kinds of forms. Most of the time they are one constant contraction that lasts 30-45min and feels like you.are.dying but last night I experienced them for 2 min every 10 min for an hour. A little insight into what will be early labour pains no doubt. And I was ok, I could handle what was going on, but didn't stop me stressing that I haven't packed a hosptial bag yet! Ha! Need to do that pronto!

My baby shower is in two weeks and I'm so excited! I've been dreaming of this day for many years and can't believe it's finally my turn to be celebrated for creating life! How special! 

Yes it's hard.

But it's worth it.

So worth it.

Can't wait to meet my son! Only 55 days until I'm due!! Eeek!

Slowing down

I'm getting slower. 27 weeks now and I often have to sit down to rest.

This very wriggly boy inside of me keeps me on my toes. His movements, if at all possible, are bigger and even more frequent. 

I like to sit in the front lounge, on the firmer couches. Stroking my stomach and gazing at my Christmas tree. It's quiet (expect for the banging of construction) and I wonder what noises will occur once this babe arrives. Long gone will be the days of rest, so I bask in them now, whilst I can. 

After all this time, it's still so surreal. I often get anxious thinking about how I will be as a mother. I've already changed a lot since being pregnant. I struggle to make decisions and often get very overwhelmed. Where I use to excel in planning, I just curl up in a ball. It's all a bit much. Decorating the nursery, packing bags, buying baby items, clothes, appointments, classes, labour.

So I sit. Whilst I can and try not to get caught up in the crazy world that has become "the newborn" industry. 

Let's get past Christmas and New Years, and hope for a spurt in energy.

What's been happening!

I've been MIA from my blog for a while due to moving house. 

Moving house whilst your 5.5 weeks pregnant is kind of the worst idea ever! But were finally in and getting everything unpacked. We've moved next door to my parents, hello Everybody Loves Raymond, but were on acerage so not on top of one another. My parents bought the house a couple of months ago and are currently renovating it. Brand new floor boards and a fresh lick of paint got done before we moved in. Whilst the floors look amazing, they show every little speck of dust, mark and scratch, which is a nightmare. 

Our two border collies are feeling very much at home with an acre to run around on. It's nice to seem them so free! The outside is still being renovated. The bricks have been rendered and currently having the backyard dug up to put a pool and deck in. There is also an extension being done to house our limousines. I'm hoping that this gets done before the baby comes, but who knows in the building world. It's the perfect weather for building so hopefully the plans get approved ASAP and building can start! 

Nearly every week day there are workers here and they are noisy, I'm struggling with that. But when they go home, the house is very quiet. No hoons screeching up the street, no music blaring, just a couple of dogs barking and birds chirping! It's lovely! 

I'm a week out from my third trimester! Ah yeah, time is flying! I knew as soon as we moved houses time would fly by. 

December is next week and we will be putting up our Christmas tree and decorating the house for the season! It really is the most wonderful time of the year.

Pregnancy is still taking its toll on my body. I'm unable to do much with my right wrist anymore due to horrible carpel tunnel! I can't even flush the toliet, so unpacking the house has become slow. Baby boy is still moving around like no ones business. He loves music and kicks all his limbs in rythum! My lower back has become very swollen due to my hip displacement and my back is trying to make up for the lack of support. Which means by 3pm I become a cripple and retreat to my room.

My dear dear husband is a saint. He continues to lift his game everyday proving what a wonderful man he really is! He is so excited about becoming a dad. He loves to come baby shopping with me and looking at different information as to which stages I am at. He has decided he wants to be my birthing partner and promises me he can handle it and all that's involved! 

Well that's all for now. I'll do a post in the coming weeks with some belly photos and renovations! 

Xx

Changes part 2

This last week has seen a lot of changes in my body.

Except for getting every single pregnancy symptom, I feel like things are happening to me a lot sooner than everyone else.

First off, this boy doesn't stop moving. I mean DOES NOT STOP. To point where it makes me feel ill. Like I'm on a roller coaster ride and my stomach is up in my mouth. Today I was laying down (21weeks pregnant) and felt him do a huge summersault. His bum pushing my stomach into the air whilst he shuffled around. It was bizarre to say the least. Such huge moments that I didn't expect to feel until 25+ weeks. He loves it when I talk to him and especially when I sing him songs. I feel him rest his hand flat on the inside of my stomach, so cute! 

I've always had a inny belly button, abnormally deep- I can fit my whole finger in. But now only my finger tip can fit and soon it will pop out! 

Milk- I'm leaking milk all over the shop. My boobs are rock hard and will have to start wearing breasts pads to bed now as my sheets are getting damp! I didn't this would happen until 35+ weeks... 

Hubby and I went and did some clothes shopping and think we have everything we need in that department! I keep finding bags of new clothes I bought years ago which is adding nicely to my collection. 

I'm really excited for a boy and have quickly gotten over that fact that I wanted a girl so badly. This little guy is going to have bounds of energy and I can't wait to see him grow and entertain his restless dad!

Boy, oh boy!

That's right, we are having a boy! 

I gotta admit, I put far to many eggs in the "I'm having a girl" basket and was freaking out how I would react to such a result. But I just chuckled, and the thought of a girl just slipped from my mind.

I did wake up this morning thinking it was going to be a boy. Even though my desire for a girl was strong, nothing seems to have gone my way on this journey so I had a thought this would be no different! 

He is a total cutie. He has my nose, which my arabic husband is very happy about, as am I! 

I'll post some photos in the coming weeks as I need to have another ultrasound as we couldn't get clear enough images. He did not want any photos to be taken, moving his hands and feet constantly. But we got a VERY clear shot of his penis and the ultrasound tech said "woah he is def a boy"... Hubby was very proud and then pronounced "hope he's works" hahah oh dear...

I'm blogging from my brothers graduation, seriously boring events, but very proud of my brother and all his achievements. I got a bit teary at how quickly he as grown. I remember the day he was born and every moment in between! And I'm about to have one of them. I'm going to have my own son that will grown into a wonderful man and if he is anything like my brother I'll be a very happy mother!

Think he is going to be a mummy's boy for sure! Can now understand why whenever I said "are you a pretty girl" why he kicked me so hard!