Keeping afloat.

Haven't written on here in a couple of weeks. I've been counting down the days until my next cycle. My period has been a bit sporadic over the last 6 months ranging from 24-30 days. The good thing about IVF is that the medication controls your ovulation. If you have super irregular, 10-20 day cycles then sometimes you can "surge" before your meant to. Lucky I don't have that problem.

I start my cycle next week and I'm so ready. Life has been super hectic around me these last couple of weeks and I've been working really hard on centring myself to not fall into a heap and cry! I know I say this a lot, but working full time for a large multi-corporate, running your own business, being a house wife, being a daughter, and trying to become a mum makes for a very weary body. I'm physically exhausted.

My favourite thing to do is sit down and watch some of my recorded program's. I'm obsessed with anything reality, especially birthing shows. One born every minute is my favourite, but it's season has ended so I am onto The Midwives. I enjoy these program's as it offers a great insight into childbirth. There are women from all walks of life experiencing birth in vastly different ways. I cry every single time a baby is born. My husband can't watch it with me, thinks it's yuck! I use to really struggle with this, as he would often joke that he would wait outside at the vending machine until the baby was born. I'd get mad and carry on at how mean that was, but throughout this whole process he has stuck by me. Coming to every appointment. He still is very disturb by the whole birthing process, so I've decided instead of stressing him out or me having to worry about it I am having my best friend as my birthing partner. Then, on the day if my husband finds that in fact he isn't so overwhelmed, he can join us but if he can't handle it he can wait outside and I know I'll be in good hands. Some friends have expressed that I'm letting him off the hook, but think about it- your partner is seeing you in horrible pain, they don't know what they can do to help and must find it very stressful. Then add blood and guts and poo and fluids- it's really not a pretty picture. So I get it!

I am so ready for this baby. I've read so many baby books, designed my nursery, have all my furniture. Bring on next week! I'm hoping for 20 follicles! Common ovaries, do me proud!!

P.S every time I cry watching those shows i pray soooo hard that one day I will be blessed with such a treasure. I'm crying again now! Gah! Imagine when I finally have my baby, think I am going to cry so many happy tears!!!